I am doing better emotionally today than I have been for the last week. (#226) Nothing outwardly has changed, but still I am beginning to find center again. Part of the healing has come from realizing that I truly am surrounded by people that care. (#227) Sprint may have cheapened the word "framily" but that doesn't change the reality that I have friends in my life that are more like family (#228) and family in my life again. (#229) My foot is beginning to heal. I can take a step or two at a time now, or several if I am only putting partial pressure on it while still using crutches. (#230)
Angelica wanted to skate today and I wanted to watch. Miracle came along just for the fun of it. I am truly blessed to have such amazing daughters. (#225)
Today I visited my favorite podiatrist. The good news is my foot is healing nicely. (#221) The bad news is I still need the crutches. Angelica skipped skating and watched the girls all day. I am thankful that she was able to watch the girls and I was able to rest, (#222) but I am sad that she was too tired and discouraged to skate today (her spins are off and she doesn't want to get into a bad habit so she chose not to skate). Miracle did quite a bit around the house which is a blessing. (#223) It seems that every blessing has a flip side today which reminds me of one of my favorite songs (#224) so I think I'll end with that.
Today I had an appointment but didn't accomplish much else. Tomorrow morning I get my foot checked out again. (#218) Miracle painted my toenails on my sore foot today. I felt so special and loved. (#219) I am also thankful for Autumn and elizabethd who both left comments of what they are thankful for. (#220) Autumn's comment was in my email rather than here, but had the desired effect nonetheless. :)
Miracle and I had a meaningful conversation this morning. I am always thankful when we talk like that, even if the topic isn't one that could be called good. (#211) Angelica and I also had time to talk and cuddle. (#212) I am so glad that she hasn't and likely never will outgrow the need for mom hugs. (#213) Miracle had such a pleasant attitude today and that helped me to have a good attitude as well. (#214) Angelica was able to skate. (#215) She came home excited that she is consistently landing her toe loop. (#216) I created a new header which makes me smile. Smiling is good. (#217) The header is a bit big, but I still like it. :)
Honestly, though, I am struggling to find those things I am thankful for right now. Maybe because I am physically sick. Maybe because there are quite a few stressors that aren't likely to ever be typed out here. Whatever the reason, it always helps me to hear things that other people are thankful for so could you please leave a comment letting me know something you are thankful for? Thanks.
Today started off slowly. I appreciate the mornings that I can take my time getting started because I tend to feel better the rest of the day. (#205) However, I am not feeling well and the extra exertion of being on crutches and wearing a heavy boot is taking its toll on me. Angelica left for class at noon and Miracle and I headed downstairs at 2. Busy Bee played dress up before her sister came in from school. It was fun to watch her play, to see her smile and enthusiasm. (#206)
B jugó vestir antes de que su hermana llegó de la escuela. Fue divertido de ver su juego, para ver su sonrisa y entusiasmo.
After dinner, Doc wanted to play dress up, too so we pulled the box back out. The black "cape" is really a skirt my girls confiscated from my closet when they were about Doc's age. They always used it as a queen's robe. Doc and Busy Bee use it more like a vampire's cape. When Doc has it on, she chases Busy Bee around and BB giggles and says "pooky" over and over. Their antics make me smile. (#207)
Después de la cena, D quería jugar a los disfraces, también, así que nos detuvimos la caja de vuelta. La "capa" negro es realmente una falda mis niñas confiscados de mi armario cuando eran de la edad de D. Ellos siempre lo utilizaron como la túnica de una reina. D y B lo utilizan más como la capa de un vampiro. Cuando el D lo tiene, ella persigue B alrededor y B ríe y dice "pooky" una y otra vez. Sus travesuras me hacen sonreír.
By this time, Miracle had finished cleaning up dinner so Doc had to go finish homework. I snapped a few more pictures of Busy Bee and me.
Por este tiempo, Milagro había terminado de limpiar la cena, así D tuvo que ir a terminar sus tareas. Rompí algunas imágenes más de B y yo.
Before long, it was bedtime. Miracle went upstairs and went to bed for real while I dozed on the couch waiting for Angelica to get in from school. All in all, it was a good day (#208) and I am less discouraged than I was yesterday. (#209) My foot is hurting less as well. (#210)
**The little girls' mother is learning to speak English but can't read it yet. I have added a translation so that she can read about their day.**
Today is one of those hard days to find what I am thankful for. I am tired and achy and realized today that by the very nature of the words degenerative disease, I am likely never going to be better than I am today. That is a hard thing to swallow. On Friday, I received word that the government has finally decided I am disabled. This news was initially received with enthusiasm but it has begun to sink in that I am truly disabled. It's not like I needed someone to tell me this. I already knew it, but there is something about being told this by someone else that makes it more real.
Today I had an appointment and then sat downstairs while M watched the little girls. I am thankful for that although I don't know how to put into words exactly what I am thankful for. (#200) Then I enjoyed a quiet evening dozing on the couch while I was home alone. (#201) M came home excited about Mary Kay possibilities. (#202) A came home talking about skating and other things. (#203) I am so very thankful that both my girls still value my opinion and just like to tell me about the moments in their days. (#204)
Here are a few things I saw on fb in the past few days...
How to dye eggs naturally.
I followed this one all the way back to the fb page it was originally posted on, Real Food Whole Health, but since I can't pin from fb, I am sharing it here.
While I was looking for the eggs, I stumbled across this.
Today I am thankful for sleep. (#198) I woke up at 9, went back to bed at 10, woke up at 1:30, went back to bed at 2:30, woke up at 7, dozed until the girls got home at 9 and am headed back to bed in a few minutes. Obviously my body is fighting something. I am also thankful for friendship, (#199) even if I have been banned from bringing gifts to future birthday parties. Apparently giving toy swords to a three year old who has two older brothers is a bad idea. LOL
Spending my day hanging out with this cutie. (#185)
Meanwhile the girls are at Nebraska's Fine Arts Festival.(#186) Angelica uploaded a video of Miracle singing "Need You Now" by Plumb. (#187)
A neighbor was over helping me fix a bottle for the baby (#188) when I was watching the video and I told her that Angelica had posted it. She said that she would like to hear it. I said it was playing but that I could start if over if she liked. Her response? "That's Miracle? I thought that was on the radio." (#189)
Miracle also prepared a short sermon.
I am thankful that God used writing this sermon to teach Miracle and to heal her broken heart. (#190) We were both disappointed that she didn't make it to nationals, but in the end all that matters is that God changed her heart and hopefully touched someone who was listening.
The girls also sang together. There were some issues with the sound system, but if you can hear past that, they sound pretty good together. (#191)
I am thankful that they stepped outside of their comfort zone and decided to do a duet. (#192) Every time they choose to work together on something like this, their bond becomes stronger. (#193) That is an immeasurable blessing.
Angelica did an ASL solo.
I am thankful that through this festival she found her calling so many years ago. (#194) I am thankful that she has continued to grow (#195) and improve (#196) and that each year her desire to bridge the gap between the hearing world and the deaf among us and bring the preChristians within the deaf community to Christ increases. (#197)
Finally, Miracle entered a pencil drawing in 2-D art. The photograph doesn't do it justice.
Today I am thankful that we were able to go to see my favorite podiatrist (#181) and that my foot is not broken. (#182) Dr. H put a wrap on my foot and leg called an unna boot that constricts and brings down swelling which consequently decreases pain. I am definitely thankful to be in less pain. (#183) After wrapping my foot and leg in the unna boot, he wrapped it in an ace bandage and has me wearing a walking boot while still using crutches. A lot of different measures to hopefully speed healing of the tendon that I sprained.
I am also thankful that the girls were able to go to fine arts with the youth group this year. (#184) I regret not being able to go, but am thankful that doesn't mean they can't. The girls spent several hours working together in the kitchen to prepare food for Angelica to eat today and tomorrow before heading out to meet up with the youth group.
It's nearing the end of the day and I am realizing that I am not going to be able to give anything away today. With my busted foot and the girls away at a youth event, I am very much stuck in the house. I have a few things in mind that I could give away, but cannot physically do anything about that. I haven't decided yet if I will give those things away later and count them for today, tack another day on the end, or if I will just give myself grace for today knowing that as of today, day 17 of a 40 day goal, I have given away 24 items. I have also wondered many times in the last two days if time is something I could count since I have spent quite a few hours helping a neighbor in that time period, but I think that although it is a good thing to give away, for the purposes of my Lenten goal, it doesn't count. .
Today started with taking ML all over town to get some things done. I am thankful that we could take ML where she needed to go. (#177) Then I had an appointment and my two tired girls came home to rest. A even chose resting over skating, which was a big shocker. She really isn't feeling well. We're not quite sure if it's allergies or the beginnings of an infection. Please pray that she feels better soon, no matter what the cause. After resting for a bit, A headed off to school and M and I laid down to rest. M has been suffering from a horrid headache for 9 days now. Yesterday the doctor gave her a shot to hopefully end the headache but it didn't work. I'll call again early next week and see if there is anything else that can or should be done. In the meantime, please pray for her headache to abate. Then M and I just hung out at home. She cooked dinner (#178) and we played battleship. (#179) When Angelica got in from class, we watched a favorite show together. (#180)
Today was necessarily laid back. To start off the day, both Angelica and I overslept the alarm and I therefore missed an appointment with my friendly neighborhood foot doctor which is thankfully and regrettably rescheduled for Friday. (#168) We all three needed the day to rest, especially Angelica. Then she headed off to school and I laid down for a nap. (#169) Miracle made fish for dinner, one of my favorite meals. (#170) A friend stopped by to chat (#171) and M willingly played with her young daughter. (#172) She also finished her drawing for the competition this weekend. (#173) The girls sound really good when they sing their duet (#174) and hearing them spontaneously begin singing worship songs brings joy to my heart. (#175)
Sometimes I hesitate to share the details of my rather uneventful life here for the world to see but realistically with all the autoimmune disease is stealing from me I don't want to lose these memories even if they are mundane. Therefore, I am grateful that I have this forum to share it in. (#176)
Today started early because I needed to call one doctor before going to see two others. I am thankful that Angelica is willing and able to drive me where I need to go. (#161) After seeing the doctors, we went to eat at Chick-fil-A. (#162) That was a nice treat. Then A was able to go to a skating lesson (#163) while M and I went downstairs to watch the girls. (#164) Busy Bee is so sweet. Every time she recognizes that my foot is hurt, she wants to kiss it. (#165) It is so hard to not be able to do the things with her that require two feet. Doc is doing very well on her schoolwork. She is reading better, faster in math, and increasing the percentage of correctly spelled words each week. (#166) I am so proud of her. Now I am relaxing in a quiet house (#167) which is my favorite part of each Monday. :)
We are currently in a series called "Screwtape Letters" based on the book by C.S. Lewis. Today's sermon was about Irritation and all the ways the enemy tries to distract us from becoming more like Christ. Irritation keeps us from recognizing our own shortcomings, keeps our focus on self rather than God, and damages relationships with others. I struggle with this, though thankfully not as much as I used to. (#160)
Today there was time to skate at the local ice rink. Most times that Angelica has the opportunity to skate I am watching the little girls so I took this chance to go with her and watch her skate. I really enjoyed seeing her skate because her love of skating makes her glow and because it's nice to see how she has improved. (#155) Since Doc enjoys skating so much, I knocked on her door and invited her to come with. Miracle really wanted to go but wisely chose to stay home and work on her fine arts projects. (#156) There will be other opportunities and I was able to share the pictures and video with her when we returned home. Then I napped, courtesy of the autoimmune disease and pain pills. Both girls prepared dinner. (#157) They are getting along so well. (#158) Then they practiced their duet for next weekend. Since M took voice lessons, she sounds so much better and with A's natural ability to sing harmony, they truly compliment each other. (#159)
Another cute idea I saw on fb that I want to pin....
Today I was able to sleep in a bit. (#150) The sun was shining and even though it was quite windy, I was able to spend some time outdoors. (#151) I am also thankful that I have a wheelchair to make getting around a bit less painful. (#152) I am thankful that my girls are both willing (#153) and able (#154) to make dinner and help out around the house.
Yesterday started with me falling down the stairs. OUCH! I either sprained the tendon connecting my fibula to my foot or I fractured my fibula. As usual, the initial x-ray was inconclusive and I was told that if I am still unable to put pressure on it in a week to get it checked out by a foot doctor. At least I know a good one. In actuality, I know two that I trust. (#147) I am also thankful for pain pills. (#148) The weather yesterday was perfect and I was able to enjoy some fresh air. (#149)
I am sitting here wishing I had a cute anecdote or picture to share today because I don't want to express what's inside; partially because from my point of view it seems monotonous and insignificant. Then I think about all the comments from friends and I know that what I am putting here is worth more than I think...
Today I am tired. My mind is mush. I got (another) concussion on Saturday. I'm sure that's a lot of it. I am also adapting to a new level of difficulty with the autoimmune disease. Put the two together and I should be thankful that I have been able to function at all this week, even if in a severely diminished capacity. So I guess that's where I'll start. (#143)
M has reevaluated her short term goals and adjusted them to be more in line with her current abilities. (More on that later, I'm sure.) I am thankful that she is able to do that. (#144) It shows that I have taught her well (#145) and that she is a strong person. (#146) Both of these bring joy to my heart.
I am thankful that I didn't have to leave the house today. (#139)
I am thankful that books can be sold back to the college bookstore. (#140)
I am thankful that Angelica receives a full tuition scholarship for all classes taken at MCC until the end of her high school career. (#141)
I am also tired and achy and sore and frustrated that I am having to acclimate once again to a new normal as far as those three things are concerned. Degenerative is not my favorite word. Neither is progressive.
I can't think of anything that I actually accomplished today. Sometimes I get tired of having to be OK with that. If I am not, I will spend my life feeling like a failure, miserable from the pain, and lost in self pity. That's not the me I want, so when I get to this point, I quickly force myself out of that stupor. I am sure by morning my attitude will be where it needs to be. I am thankful that God loves me at my worst. (#142)
Cute idea I saw on fb. It's funny though that when I look at a picture like this I am immediately aware of whatever A is allergic to (mushrooms, tomatoes, black olives, peas, and ingredients in dressing) and then make substitutions in my mind. ;)
Lent: a skirt and a pair of pants, a vase and some marbles
I'm still a bit behind on the memorizing, and I accidentally went out of order, but the effort of memorizing is bringing me closer to Christ even if I am "off schedule." (#138) As always, this was taken from Ann Voskamp. Stop by her blog and read her words of wisdom.
Goodness! This little man is almost 3! They grow and change so fast at this age! He's the one in the middle with his back to the camera in this picture.
Lent: 2 pair of pants and 2 pair of shorts to a young mom
I didn't grow up in the church. I had no concept of what lent was when I first became a Christian and I wasn't in the denominations of churches that preached about lent or practiced giving something up in the days preceding Easter. Consequently, I have seldom had a lent goal. I think that this may mark the fourth non-consecutive year that I have observed lent so I'm definitely not the person to ask if you have questions about lent.
All I know is that this year I feel compelled to give something up in conjunction with lent, or more specifically give something AWAY each day of lent. Wednesday I gave two puzzles to a local mental hospital. Thursday I gave a nearly new box of pads away and had to almost immediately replace them. Today I gave away half of my ice trays to a young mom who didn't have any. For the rest of the Lenten season, I will post something at the bottom of the post marking what I gave away that day without creating any more fanfare, as a means of accountability and record keeping.
I have also challenged Miracle to make a commitment for the next forty days, but rather than giving something up, I am asking her to add something into her schedule. I am asking her to write down one or more things each day that she is thankful for. I am doing this partially because of where she is and that I think adding thanksgiving into her life is a natural compliment to her current efforts of removing other things. I am also doing it because I know how much it has helped me in just two months. The real push came when I read this article while sitting in a hospital lobby. So, I presented Miracle with a challenge in conjunction with lent. She is choosing to make her thanksgiving list private and I understand that. There are often things that I am thankful for that I cannot put here but I choose to continue making that list public and just not count those things that are not mentioned here.
What about you? Do you have a Lenten goal this year? If you do, I would be blessed if you would choose to share it with me here. If you choose to share, I will pray that God gives you the strength and ability to reach that goal and that He blesses you and draws you closer to Him as the season progresses. Pray for Miracle. Pray for me. Let's pray for each other.
Thirteen hours away from home. My body aches and my heart is heavy and it seems as if nothing of value was accomplished today.... maybe a minute of perspective and finding thanks will change my mind...
An hour, some meds, a warm pack, and relaxing on the couch have all transpired since those first few sentences and I still cannot come up with anything that I am thankful for. I am content and have a sense of thankfulness but cannot put it into words because my mind is too jumbled from all the stimulation of a busy day so I will just have to be satisfied with the effort and the knowledge that I AM thankful, even if I don't know why. :) (#137)
Today I am thankful that I have learned to give myself permission to rest when I am unwell. (#133) I am also thankful that I am a better cook than I used to be. (#134) I am thankful that Angelica has ice skating as a stress relieving outlet. (#135) I am thankful that I was strong enough to do four loads of laundry yesterday and a load of dishes today. (#136)
Here's another one that I saw on fb and wanted to pin....
Got Pallets? Hate weeding? Don't feel like turning up a bunch of grass? Use a pallet as a garden bed - staple garden cloth on the backside of the pallet fill with dirt and start growing!
Tonight I am thankful for the moon. On the drive home, the tiniest sliver of a crescent moon was visible through a haze of clouds. It reminded me of the Cheshire cat when all that is left is his smile and somehow that similarity to a cat in a make believe, upside down, topsy-turvy world made me know that everything is going to be OK. (#132)
Since I have been too tired, sick, stressed and achy at the end of the day to give a proper update here, I thought I would post pictures from Wednesday. Angelica had to work all week at the ice rink. Since there was free ice skating Wednesday through Friday, I decided to take the girls to the rink and let them have some fun. Angelica's job on Wednesday and Thursday was skate guard meaning that she had to be on the ice, making sure everyone was following the rules, putting away unused walkers, and assisting anyone who fell. Friday she was at the skate counter distributing skates and disinfecting returned skates. Busy Bee used a walker and could get around pretty good on the ice by the end of the week. Doc was already a pro on the ice because the school here offers skating lessons to the second grade children. Miracle mostly helped Busy Bee on Wednesday but had a few minutes to skate around the rink on her own when Busy Bee wanted to get off of the ice. On Thursday, Miracle chose to spend time at the library and on Friday she was elsewhere in the Y except for a few minutes. Thursday and Friday, Busy Bee wasn't very interested in skating. She much preferred running and climbing in the bleachers! Doc on the other hand has the skating bug and can't get enough time on the ice.
I know I need to post what I am thankful for but I'm struggling to do so. There are so many things that I can't write about and my heart is heavy. That is precisely when I need to post. Could you please pray for me? If you're struggling and leave a comment, I'll pray for you, too. If you are doing well, maybe reading a comment of what you are thankful for will be the boost I need.
