I'm tired and just want to go to bed but as I head that direction, there is a tugging reminding me that I made a commitment so here I am...
Today was calmer than many of late which is appreciated(#38) although it feels a bit like the calm that comes between thunderstorms one right after the other. The stillness that is almost as if the air itself is trying not to exist. That is what today feels like. (2 Samuel 22:2-3 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation.)(#39)
The sadness has begun to envelope me in such a way that I feel smothered, grasping for a way out, looking for a light in the darkness, searching for some relief from the pain and gasping for air. It is, after all, January.
The fear that used to be a constant companion in my life keeps knocking. I keep reminding it that it doesn't belong in my life anymore while reminding myself that I am safe but little good that does in the middle of the night when I wake up trembling. (Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.)(#40)
I am encouraged when I look back over this last month and count how many posts had Jesus at the center, or at least a passing mention in the peripheral.(#41)
Yesterday a friend sent me a quote, a bit of encouragement to remind me that I am doing good.(#42)
I am thankful that today was a calm day.(#43) I am thankful that I know the sadness will end.(#44) I am thankful that fear is not my constant companion anymore.(#45) I am thankful for friends. But mostly, I am thankful for the way that God brings scripture to mind(#46) and I see Him weaving into every moment of my life.(#47) (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.)
I didn't accomplish much today. I was in pain early on and took medication knowing I would sleep but hoping I would accomplish at least something. I encouraged a friend. I helped a neighbor. The house is slightly cleaner than it was last night.(#49) So, I accomplished a little but not much. Somehow that seems OK. The things I did today mattered.(#50) People's lives were impacted. That's something, isn't it?
