I really try to be present both here and in life. Sometimes I manage. Recently it has been harder than usual. I am struggling even to be present in life. Thank you notes get forgotten. The time to call a friend to check on them slips by before I can get it done. Emails go unanswered. It seems that all that is accomplished day to day is household chores (most of which are done by Miracle), doctor visits, and schooling the girls. Everything else slips through the cracks. Being present here, on the blog, obviously is part of the everything else.
To be fair, I am fighting some sort of infection that has kept my temperature elevated for three weeks, above 100 since Saturday. I have also had some other as of yet undiagnosed symptoms. I had a CT on Friday, some tests run the Friday before, and an upcoming procedure all in hopes of making a diagnosis so that I can be treated for whatever it is. None of that makes for good blogging.
The girls saw the cardiologist today. Miracle was given a complete bill of health meaning that there has been no change in the size of her aorta in the last year and she is feeling good. Both girls have to return in a year to follow up. Dr.S was also quite happy that Angelica is doing so much better. We're still not sure if the solution was as simple as a combination of increasing hydration and sodium intake and stopping her antihistamines or God doing a quiet miracle ~ the kind that goes unnoticed simply because a diagnosis had never been given and therefore we can't shout from the rooftops that she has been healed of whatever it was. I think it may have been a combination of the two. Who, but God, gives each of us the wisdom to solve complex puzzles?
Today, after four hours of doctor visits, we went to the mall. We don't often go to the mall just to walk around. It's not really fun if you can't buy something sometimes. We took pictures of shoes, hoping to find just the right pair for each girl to wear to the homecoming dance. Realistically, the girls will each probably use glitter to fancy up a pair they already own. The knowledge of that was made easier by the reality that today I had a bit of money to spend on the girls. Granted, I bought something they needed, but still it felt good for all of us that I was able to do that.
Then, on the way home, I stopped on the side of the road so that Angelica could take a few pictures. While we were stopped, three cars stopped just to make sure we were OK. One was a friend I haven't seen in maybe eight years. We exchanged phone numbers and hope to get together soon. It's nice how God orchestrated that.
Sometimes though, I am absent here simply because I don't know what to say. Life takes on a quiet rhythm with nothing noteworthy happening. Except then I realize that even when nothing seems noteworthy, everything has slowly changed, like with Miracle's healing last spring and her being capable of running a home or Angelica simply getting better and her quiet ability to see life as it is while simultaneously seeing it as it could be. Seventeen and (almost) sixteen are remarkable ages. Maybe it's just that I have remarkable children.
