A New Do

King Caspian in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Movie)

I've spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what was given.

A Saying In India

Everything will be alright in the end.  If it's not alright, it's not yet the end.

Christopher Robin in The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (Movie)

You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Book)

“In our world," said Eustace, "a star is a huge ball of flaming gas."


“Even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is, but only what it is made of.” 

When God Speaks

God speaks to us in many ways.  He most often speaks through His word and when He uses another method, it should always be tested against the Word of God; if it doesn't line up with His written Word, it isn't God.  Sometimes He speaks through other people.  This is most often evident when He spoke through the prophets of the Old Testament but the New Testament clearly states that God still speaks through His people today.  (1 Corinthians 12:8)  He speaks through the weather.   (Job 37:5-7)  He even spoke through a donkey.  (Numbers 22:28)  He has written on a wall.  (Daniel 5).  He speaks through dreams.  (Genesis 20:3)  And He speaks inside of us in a still small voice.  (1 Kings 19:12)

Sometimes it is easy to know that what we hear is or isn't God's voice.  His scriptures are very clear about things such as lying, adultery, and murder.  Some things, though, are not clearly outlined in His word.  Have you ever been presented with two apparently equal opportunities and not known which one to take?  Knowing God knew and that He wants the best for you (Jeremiah 29:11) would propel you to seek His will.  But things like which job to take aren't clearly stated.  So how can you know that you are hearing His voice?  

You could put out a test like Gideon did in Judges 6.  Sometimes this works.  I have found that it is much easier to know when God says "yes" in those instances than if God says "no".  When I have asked God to show me His will in that manner and received a no I often wondered if it was by some failure on my part that I missed God's answer and invariably asked again.  

In John 10:27, it says that His sheep know His voice.  That requires a bit more intimacy with our Savior.  Often, when I hear His voice, I am silenced.  Sometimes I am convicted of sin.  Usually I do not get the answer I expected.  I am guilty of often asking God questions that require a simple answer and when He answers it is always more complex than I could have imagined.  Always, I feel overwhelmed by His love.  And always I am confident that I have been in the presence of a holy God.  Most recently, I was crying out to Him for answers and He simply asked, "Do you know what you are asking, my child?"  That stopped me in my tracks and I acknowledged that I don't know what I am asking, that He knows what is best and that I trust Him.  Did I get the answer I was searching for?  No.  But I got the answer I needed.  

She's Gone, You Know

OT is gone.  Completely.  Utterly.  Permanently.

And yet, she is more present than she ever was because each one of us holds a piece of her inside of us.

amanda

There's No Place Like Home

What's Missing?!?

If you guessed the rebreather (oxygen mask) you are correct!

Her pneumothorax is minuscule size. She is off oxygen. If she does well til early evening when dr makes rounds again then we will go home tonight.

How Did You Spend Your Day?

Aside from resting and visiting with medical professionals, this is how we spent ours:


watching movies, reading, and painting.

The good news is the pneumothorax shrunk so the increased oxygen is doing its job. Thank you for the prayers.

Phase 2

The decision has been made to increase the amount of oxygen that Angelica is breathing in hopes that her body will resorb the pneumothorax more quickly. We are settling in for the long haul.

Boredom Busters

Mother's Day - Take 2

I'm glad we celebrated Mother's Day yesterday because today we are back at the hospital.


At least we're together.

Happy Mother's Day

Miracle has spent all afternoon making these for me:




The house smells wonderful and they taste amazing!

I am just thankful to be home spending time with my two beautiful daughters.

This image accurately describes how I feel dealing with medical professionals at this time.  

I know ultimately we all want the same thing:  what is best for my child.  It is just that sometimes I feel that no matter how hard I try to express what is going on with Angelica I am not being listened to.  And what one doctor says to me is not what is put in her chart or follow up action plan.  So then when I am talking to a different doctor, the information he has is different than what I am giving to him and I end up looking incompetent or, worse, demanding and overprotective.  That feels a lot like banging my head against a brick wall.  

Visitors

Actually she had some visitors of the human variety as well but I took those pictures with my camera and I can only post pictures taken with Angelica's iPod using this app. It looks like we will be going home today. She is still in pain but looking and feeling much better. Thank you to everyone who called, visited, and prayed.

Recouperating

Angelica had a long day today. The morning started with a heart catheterization that didn't go as planned. She is finally allowed to eat and drink clear liquids. There is a chance that they will have to do another procedure in the morning and at some point they will have to attempt the heart cath again. For now we are just relaxing. She is in a lot of pain from the pneumothorax. I'm just glad she is ok.

End of Year Program

Last night was the end of year program for the homeschool co-op.  This year the girls opted not to set up a table showcasing their work for the year.  It seems a bit childish to them.  They didn't hesitate to get up on stage though!  Angelica presented "Hope Now" by Addison Road in ASL and Miracle preached a short sermon.  I am so proud of my girls and their accomplishments this year.  Their love for other people and God show through in all they do.  

The Heart

We talk about the heart a lot, especially in a metaphorical way.   

We say that we love someone with all our heart when we really mean that we love them with all of our will, strength, or mind.  These, after all, are things that we have control over.  But really the heart has nothing to do with love.

We use a cute little cut out that looks nothing like the fist shaped muscle that God gave us to allow the life flow of blood to pulse through our veins.

If someone is said to have a "big heart" this is a good thing... it means they are compassionate and generous, that they love and serve others.  But what if that same thing is said literally?  Not so good.

And what if that same muscle stops working properly?  Not good at all.

And if that heart is in the chest of someone you love?  Grief and worry threaten to overtake you.

And if that little defective muscle is in the chest of your child?  It feels as if the world is crashing on your shoulders and the only place to turn is into the arms of God.  I am thankful that He is there to catch me.

FYI

My music is back.  I have found myself lately searching for songs that will bring me encouragement through all that is going on and then forgetting the ones I have found.  I also keep opening certain blogs that consistently have encouraging music playing.  I need the songs that will strengthen me to play automatically when I come here, to my blog.

I know that some people don't like music automatically playing when they open a blog, so this fyi is for you.  If you don't want to hear my music, scroll down to the bottom and turn it off.  I won't be offended.  Actually, I won't even know.  :)

Also, I have removed the word verification from my comments.  It will stay off so long as I don't get too many obscene messages in my inbox.  I know there is the spam feature and I appreciate that, but I am still bombarded with those messages and if it gets to be too much I will change the settings on my comments again.  For now, though, word verification is gone.  Hopefully it can stay that way.  

A Needed Reminder

For the second time this year, God has used a simple calendar to remind me of His promises and faithfulness.  

The verse on my calendar this month reads: 

"Everlasting joy will crown their heads.  Gladness and joy will overtake them."  

Isaiah 35:10

I am resting on God's promises.