1 T honey - 60
2 slices cheesecake - 350
1/4 c egg salad - 119
1 slice bread - 60
1/2 c chex - 50
1/2 c milk - 75
Total calories - 674
D danced for an hour today (-362). She is quite upset, feels like a failure, etc. She has also been snotty all day and has had several moments that she struggled to find words or comprehend the conversation around her. She was also quite dizzy for much of the day.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
1 T honey - 60
2 eggs - 180
2 slices cheesecake - 350
2 t strawberry sauce - 14
4 slices cucumber - 4
1/3 carrot - 10
1 cauliflower floweret - 3
2 T ranch - 70
1/2 c potato soup - 37
1/2 oz cheese - 55
1/2 c cinnamon chex - 80
1 c milk - 150
1 pop tart - 200
Total calories - 1213
D danced for 2 hours again today (-724). Considering she thinks she ate too much yesterday, I don't want to see her reaction about today's. She accused me of making it hard for her to not eat b/c she can't resist the cheesecake that I keep making and putting in the fridge. I told her it wasn't my intent to make it easy for her to starve herself.
2 eggs - 180
2 slices cheesecake - 350
2 t strawberry sauce - 14
4 slices cucumber - 4
1/3 carrot - 10
1 cauliflower floweret - 3
2 T ranch - 70
1/2 c potato soup - 37
1/2 oz cheese - 55
1/2 c cinnamon chex - 80
1 c milk - 150
1 pop tart - 200
Total calories - 1213
D danced for 2 hours again today (-724). Considering she thinks she ate too much yesterday, I don't want to see her reaction about today's. She accused me of making it hard for her to not eat b/c she can't resist the cheesecake that I keep making and putting in the fridge. I told her it wasn't my intent to make it easy for her to starve herself.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
1 T honey - 60
1 boiled egg - 90
1/2 c chicken noodle soup - 30
1 slice cheesecake - 175
2 1/2 slices bacon - 113
2 pancakes - 134
1 t syrup - 17
1 c milk - 150
1 c tea - 11
Total calories - 780
D danced for 1 1/2 today. I also had to constantly remind her not to be snotty to her sister and myself. She came close to a meltdown today and stated that she was close to passing out several times.
1 boiled egg - 90
1/2 c chicken noodle soup - 30
1 slice cheesecake - 175
2 1/2 slices bacon - 113
2 pancakes - 134
1 t syrup - 17
1 c milk - 150
1 c tea - 11
Total calories - 780
D danced for 1 1/2 today. I also had to constantly remind her not to be snotty to her sister and myself. She came close to a meltdown today and stated that she was close to passing out several times.
Friday, February 17, 2012
1 T honey - 60
5 cucumbers - 5
1 T ranch - 35
1/3 carrot - 10
1 pop tart - 200
2 c milk - 300
1 chocolate chip cookie - 100
1 slice pizza - 184
1 1/2 c tea - 17
Total calories - 911
5 cucumbers - 5
1 T ranch - 35
1/3 carrot - 10
1 pop tart - 200
2 c milk - 300
1 chocolate chip cookie - 100
1 slice pizza - 184
1 1/2 c tea - 17
Total calories - 911
D danced for an hour today (-362). About half way through dancing, D was having trouble focusing and was obviously dizzy. I called her to the side and told her that something was going to have to give, that not eating was effecting her ability to focus and her ability to dance and that beginning to eat more was the best option but if she wasn't going to do that to figure out what to do. She got really mad at me b/c she thought I was saying that I wasn't going to let her dance and where some part of me would like to do that I know that if I took it away from her she would just find another way to burn calories and would consume less as well as be losing her biggest emotional outlet. So, after she calmed down, I was able to explain to her that I was actually just trying to get her to see the natural consequences of her choices and hoping she would make better choices. She asked me how I handled that situation when I was anorexic and I told her that I was never able to find a way to focus both my body and my brain at the same time like dance requires, that I didn't exercise so I didn't have any experience in this. The next part is where her knowledge of nutrition kind of stinks - she sat there and figured out that if she changed the time of day that she allowed herself to eat to before dancing and changed the type of foods she was consuming to something high in protein that she might have the ability to focus both her mind and body. She asked me what I thought and I told her that though it is better than what she is currently doing to her body, it is still not healthy. Honestly, I think she might be right, at least for a time.
Sock Hop
Yesterday, the high school kids served the younger grades in co-op by helping at their Valentine's sock hop. They had so much fun!
Group photo
Butterfly is oddly missing...
How many high schoolers does it take to hang a pinata?
Butterfly manning the pinata. For the smaller kids, she was really nice and held it as still as possible but for the older kids, she yanked the rope to pull the pinata out of their reach and made it swing.
Also posted on our homeschool blog.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
1 T honey - 60
Sonic kids meal w burger, fries, watermelon slush - 740
8 oz vanilla milkshake - 254
3 slices cucumber - 3
2 T ranch dressing - 70
1/2 carrot - 15
2 chocolates - 133
Total calories - 1275
I had a dr appt so we were in the city and rushed for time to get to co-op. She is upset that she ate when we went to Sonic - thinks that she should have exercised self-control and said she wasn't eating - and upset that she had a milkshake at the co-op sock hop yet not acknowledging that she also chose not to eat a cupcake, cookie, etc while at the party. After co-op the girls danced for 2 hours (-724).
D is quite upset at her total calories consumed. She asked, "Why do I feel like such a failure?" and I said, "Because you have unrealistic goals."
Sonic kids meal w burger, fries, watermelon slush - 740
8 oz vanilla milkshake - 254
3 slices cucumber - 3
2 T ranch dressing - 70
1/2 carrot - 15
2 chocolates - 133
Total calories - 1275
I had a dr appt so we were in the city and rushed for time to get to co-op. She is upset that she ate when we went to Sonic - thinks that she should have exercised self-control and said she wasn't eating - and upset that she had a milkshake at the co-op sock hop yet not acknowledging that she also chose not to eat a cupcake, cookie, etc while at the party. After co-op the girls danced for 2 hours (-724).
D is quite upset at her total calories consumed. She asked, "Why do I feel like such a failure?" and I said, "Because you have unrealistic goals."
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
2 oz milk - 38
2 graham crackers - 120
3 chocolates - 200
1/4 c ants climbing a tree- 85
1 lettuce leaf - 1
1 T honey - 60
1 T ranch - 35
1/2 carrot - 15
6 slices cucumber - 6
3 twizzlers - 120
1 T alfalfa sprouts - 7
1 slice cheese - 80
2 green onions - 20
1/2 hoagie roll - 105
Total calories - 792
D asked to take a nap this morning and I told her no, that she was tired simply b/c she wasn't eating enough to sustain her and she needed to do school work.
She danced for 1 1/2 hours (-543). She said on the way home that she wanted to keep going to the Y every day even if they quit dancing, that the more she exercises the more calories she will burn. Her sister said, "I don't think it works that way. You can't burn what you don't eat." D said, "Then what am I burning?" and I said that when she doesn't consume as many calories as she uses in a day that her body takes the energy from other places like muscles and organs. I also reminded her that her body needs a minimum of 600-1000 calories a day just to survive. She huffed and rolled her eyes.
She is being so snotty to her sister. It seems I am constantly intervening and she feels picked on.
2 graham crackers - 120
3 chocolates - 200
1/4 c ants climbing a tree- 85
1 lettuce leaf - 1
1 T honey - 60
1 T ranch - 35
1/2 carrot - 15
6 slices cucumber - 6
3 twizzlers - 120
1 T alfalfa sprouts - 7
1 slice cheese - 80
2 green onions - 20
1/2 hoagie roll - 105
Total calories - 792
D asked to take a nap this morning and I told her no, that she was tired simply b/c she wasn't eating enough to sustain her and she needed to do school work.
She danced for 1 1/2 hours (-543). She said on the way home that she wanted to keep going to the Y every day even if they quit dancing, that the more she exercises the more calories she will burn. Her sister said, "I don't think it works that way. You can't burn what you don't eat." D said, "Then what am I burning?" and I said that when she doesn't consume as many calories as she uses in a day that her body takes the energy from other places like muscles and organs. I also reminded her that her body needs a minimum of 600-1000 calories a day just to survive. She huffed and rolled her eyes.
She is being so snotty to her sister. It seems I am constantly intervening and she feels picked on.
Snow Tubing
The girls went tubing yesterday with the middle and high school students in our homeschool co-op. They had so much fun...
Inside where it was warm...
And outside on the hill.
Also posted on our homeschool blog!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
1/2 c chex - 50
1/2 c milk - 75
1 slice pizza - 181
15 sour cream & cheddar chips - 80
1 c hot chocolate - 120
1 7-up - 140
1/2 hoagie roll - 105
1/2 slice lettuce - 1
2 slices cucumber - 2
1/2 slice tomato - 2
1 slice cheese - 80
1 T alfalfa sprouts - 7
2 pickles - 10
1 pepperoni - 10
1 marshmallow - 25
3 squares chocolate - 120
3 chocolates - 200
1 T honey - 60
Total calories - 1268
D danced for an hour today (-362) and went to a sledding event that lasted three hours, estimating that she actually spent two hours sledding (-952).
She is getting sick and the tiredness is starting to consume her days.
1/2 c milk - 75
1 slice pizza - 181
15 sour cream & cheddar chips - 80
1 c hot chocolate - 120
1 7-up - 140
1/2 hoagie roll - 105
1/2 slice lettuce - 1
2 slices cucumber - 2
1/2 slice tomato - 2
1 slice cheese - 80
1 T alfalfa sprouts - 7
2 pickles - 10
1 pepperoni - 10
1 marshmallow - 25
3 squares chocolate - 120
3 chocolates - 200
1 T honey - 60
Total calories - 1268
D danced for an hour today (-362) and went to a sledding event that lasted three hours, estimating that she actually spent two hours sledding (-952).
She is getting sick and the tiredness is starting to consume her days.
Monday, February 13, 2012
1/2 c chex - 50
1/2 c milk - 75
1 T honey - 120
6 grapes - 12
10 slices cucumber - 10
2 T ranch - 70
1 carrot - 30
1 hoagie bun - 210
2 pickle slices - 10
2 T alfalfa sprouts - 7
1/2 lettuce leaf - 1
1/2 t mayo - 15
1 1/2 slices cheese - 120
1 1/4 c tea - 14
1 slice tomato - 4
1 bag sunchips - 140
1 slice cheese cake - 263
1 T cherries - 23
Total calories - 974
1/2 c milk - 75
1 T honey - 120
6 grapes - 12
10 slices cucumber - 10
2 T ranch - 70
1 carrot - 30
1 hoagie bun - 210
2 pickle slices - 10
2 T alfalfa sprouts - 7
1/2 lettuce leaf - 1
1/2 t mayo - 15
1 1/2 slices cheese - 120
1 1/4 c tea - 14
1 slice tomato - 4
1 bag sunchips - 140
1 slice cheese cake - 263
1 T cherries - 23
Total calories - 974
Sunday, February 12, 2012
1 T honey - 60
3 oz pork - 164
1/4 c mashed potatoes - 51
1/4 c broccoli - 14
1/4 c salad - 6
2 t ranch dressing - 49
1 slice cheesecake factory cheesecake - 64
1 T cherry topping - 9
4 oz swordfish - 176
8 asparagus - 26
1/2 c rice - 51
1 t butter - 33
2 slices homemade cheesecake - 525
1/8 c cherries - 46
1 c tea - 11
1 c sparkling juice cocktail - 160
Total calories - 1445
3 oz pork - 164
1/4 c mashed potatoes - 51
1/4 c broccoli - 14
1/4 c salad - 6
2 t ranch dressing - 49
1 slice cheesecake factory cheesecake - 64
1 T cherry topping - 9
4 oz swordfish - 176
8 asparagus - 26
1/2 c rice - 51
1 t butter - 33
2 slices homemade cheesecake - 525
1/8 c cherries - 46
1 c tea - 11
1 c sparkling juice cocktail - 160
Total calories - 1445
D actually ate a reasonable amount today. She is really upset about that. Hating herself even. Crying in my arms and feeling like a failure.
We had a dinner at church and she tries to eat in front of others b/c she doesn't want to deal w anyone else telling her she does not need to lose weight.
Then tonight we had our special Valentine's Day dinner. This year she chose the menu. Her sister often acquiesces to what she wants regarding food right now b/c she desperately wants her to eat.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
2 T honey - 120
2 T milk - 18
10 crackers - 140
3 corn chips - 74
1/2 t salsa - 1
pb crackers - 190
1 clementine - 35
5 doritos - 140
4 baby carrots - 16
4 slices cucumber - 4
2 t ranch dip - 20
Total calories - 758
She thinks she ate too much today. Everything except the crackers, milk, and honey was consumed while we were away from home at a small group gathering.
2 T milk - 18
10 crackers - 140
3 corn chips - 74
1/2 t salsa - 1
pb crackers - 190
1 clementine - 35
5 doritos - 140
4 baby carrots - 16
4 slices cucumber - 4
2 t ranch dip - 20
Total calories - 758
She thinks she ate too much today. Everything except the crackers, milk, and honey was consumed while we were away from home at a small group gathering.
Friday, February 10, 2012
3 T honey - 27
2 T milk - 18
10 crackers - 140
2 t pb - 63
1/8 c noodles - 53
2 t sauce - 7
2 tic tacs - 4
1 egg - 90
1 potato - 108
1 waffle - 170
1 t butter - 33
1 1/2 c chocolate milk - 242
1/4 c rice chex - 25
1/2 c milk - 75
1 slice toast - 70
1 t nutella - 33
Total calories - 1158
D danced for an hour and a half today. That burned approximately 543 calories. Because of this, she allowed herself to eat more. She is still upset at the total. There were times today that I was scared that she would pass out. This is so hard. She is struggling to maintain focus and gets dizzy a lot.
2 T milk - 18
10 crackers - 140
2 t pb - 63
1/8 c noodles - 53
2 t sauce - 7
2 tic tacs - 4
1 egg - 90
1 potato - 108
1 waffle - 170
1 t butter - 33
1 1/2 c chocolate milk - 242
1/4 c rice chex - 25
1/2 c milk - 75
1 slice toast - 70
1 t nutella - 33
Total calories - 1158
D danced for an hour and a half today. That burned approximately 543 calories. Because of this, she allowed herself to eat more. She is still upset at the total. There were times today that I was scared that she would pass out. This is so hard. She is struggling to maintain focus and gets dizzy a lot.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
7 crackers - 98
3 strawberry - 12
2 T honey - 18
2 T milk - 18
chicken giblets - 29
chicken wing - 99
1/4 c potatoes - 80
1/2 carrot - 15
1 1/2 c tea - 18
1 slice bread - 70
1 t jelly - 17
2 sips soda - 7
Total calories - 471
D was disappointed w how much she ate today - stated that her goal isn't about calories so much as it is about steadily cutting back her calories. She seemed calmer when I showed her the past few days - that she consumed about 800 calories less today than she did a week ago. Then she asked if I had to take her to the hospital if she passes out.... um hello.... screw what the law would say I have to take her to the hospital just to know that nothing has gone hugely wrong and to hopefully get her the help she so desperately needs.
3 strawberry - 12
2 T honey - 18
2 T milk - 18
chicken giblets - 29
chicken wing - 99
1/4 c potatoes - 80
1/2 carrot - 15
1 1/2 c tea - 18
1 slice bread - 70
1 t jelly - 17
2 sips soda - 7
Total calories - 471
D was disappointed w how much she ate today - stated that her goal isn't about calories so much as it is about steadily cutting back her calories. She seemed calmer when I showed her the past few days - that she consumed about 800 calories less today than she did a week ago. Then she asked if I had to take her to the hospital if she passes out.... um hello.... screw what the law would say I have to take her to the hospital just to know that nothing has gone hugely wrong and to hopefully get her the help she so desperately needs.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
3 c iced tea - 33
1 T honey - 9
1 T milk - 9
3 ritz crackers - 48
1 tortilla chip - 15
6 oz apple juice - 90
2 choc chip cookie - 230
1 1/2 c milk - 225
Total calories - 659
This is such a hard thing to balance. I just fussed at D b/c of the food choices she made today. I told her that I even though I have told her I am not going to fuss about the number of calories she consumes, I am going to say something when all that goes in is empty calories, that she needs to start making wise choices about the types of food she eats and focus less on the calories, that she needs to be putting nutritious things into her body. Everything I said could hugely backfire... if she continues restricting calories AND avoids useless foods she will eat even less. I think I just fell off the tightrope.
2 choc chip cookie - 230
1 1/2 c milk - 225
Total calories - 659
This is such a hard thing to balance. I just fussed at D b/c of the food choices she made today. I told her that I even though I have told her I am not going to fuss about the number of calories she consumes, I am going to say something when all that goes in is empty calories, that she needs to start making wise choices about the types of food she eats and focus less on the calories, that she needs to be putting nutritious things into her body. Everything I said could hugely backfire... if she continues restricting calories AND avoids useless foods she will eat even less. I think I just fell off the tightrope.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
12 homemade tortilla chips - 183
2 t cinnamon & sugar - 12
6 oz apple juice - 90
2 saltines - 28
3 ritz crackers - 48
1 homemade tortilla - 122
1 c milk - 150
Jones soda - 170
1 chocolate - 170
Total calories - 973
D stated that it is her goal to eat nothing so anything feels like a failure. I ache for her. It is so hard to see her hurt.
2 t cinnamon & sugar - 12
6 oz apple juice - 90
2 saltines - 28
3 ritz crackers - 48
1 homemade tortilla - 122
1 c milk - 150
Jones soda - 170
1 chocolate - 170
Total calories - 973
D stated that it is her goal to eat nothing so anything feels like a failure. I ache for her. It is so hard to see her hurt.
Friday, February 3, 2012
1/2 c applesauce - 50
pb crackers - 160
7-up - 240
small baked potato - 128
1 t butter - 33
1/4 c pork - 237
1/2 carrot - 16
1 1/2 c tea - 17
cookie - 80
7 corn chips - 163
1 t cheese sauce - 20
1 t salsa - 5
3 cocktail wieners w bbq - 122
Total calories - 1271
D went to the dr today. Several of them in fact. She had stated before today that if she weighed more than 130 she would stop eating entirely. She weighs 138. She lost 6 pounds. The psychologist gave a dx of eating disorder, monitor for developing restricting type anorexia. The psychiatrist recommended following up w a nutritionist before she develops full blown anorexia. The pediatrician reminded her that she is exactly where she needs to be on the growth curve, that her weight is proportionate to her height and that it would be unhealthy for her to lose weight. I'm not sure if she heard any of it. She did, however, eat after the appts so that is a plus.
1/3 of the cals she consumed today were at the open house for her art showing. Another 1/3 from the soda and crackers. She is a bit upset about that. We talked about her diet today and that if she were going to restrict her calories in a healthy manner that she should first attempt to cut out the empty calories like soda and cookies and other snack foods, that eating things that give her body nutrition is important, more important than the amount of calories she consumed. I fear that all she heard was how to cut out more calories.
She stated tonight that she is not sure how she is going to proceed, that she will probably continue to eat a little, but less than she has been recently, maybe only 1 or 2 bites at each meal w no snacks.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
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