M woke up at 8:30.  She had therapy at 10:00.  Following that we went to the grocery store.  She was easily distracted and commented that she was tired.  When we arrived home she ate lunch and asked if she could nap. She lay down for about an hour.  After she woke up she said that she sometimes liked to play peek-a-boo but that she couldn't unless she was playing with a little kid because she was 16.

I'm not being very consistent journaling about M right now.  I'll work on that.



M is eating lunch now.  She didn't eat earlier b/c she yelled at her sister and I sent her to her room.  She then chose not to eat in the 30 min between leaving her room and going to the ortho.

I did laundry today, washing all the stuff we bought at Goodwill yesterday.  Just now we were putting some stuff away in the girls' room and M said to A, "That's a really pretty shirt."  A said, "It's yours." and M got a quizzical look on her face.  I asked her what she remembered from Goodwill yesterday and she said, "I remember trying on some dresses."  A few seconds later, she hugged her doll and said, "Joni has a new outfit."  I asked if she remembered getting that and she shook her head no.



She is acting her age and is in a good mood, compliant, almost happy.

M was acting young just now.  She said she thought her panties were too small and wanted me to see if they fit her properly.  I asked her how old she was and she said "12.  You asked me that yesterday."  I said "I did.  I am going to be asking you that a lot right now."  Then she asked if she was fat and I said no, that she was the perfect weight for her height.  She seemed satisfied with that and went to brush her teeth.  When she came out of the bathroom, she seemed to be back to her usual.

This morning, M woke up at 8:30.  We had stuff to do so she did not have her normal morning routine but instead immediately felt the pressure of being rushed.  At 10:30, after the pressure was relieved and she had had a moment to relax, I asked her to help her sister with a task.  She quickly became agitated and yelled at her sister.  When I pointed this out, she voluntarily went to her room to calm down.

Another thing M said when she was "12" is that her string bikinis are "weird."

This sucks.  Documenting M's behavior.  OK.  Here goes...



tonight when we got home around 5, M turned the oven on.  A few minutes later, she put the pizza in the oven.  We began going through the clothes we had bought at Goodwill today and she excitedly exclaimed about each of them, wanting to try the pretty ones on.  She was quite excited that I had bought an outfit for her baby doll and wanted to see if it fit.  She didn't like the more revealing shirts she had purchased b/c they were "immodest."  As she was spinning around in a formal, I asked her how old she was and she said "12, but I think that's wrong b/c I am too big."  5:45 we were eating dinner and she seemed to be having a hard time following the conversation.  Her sister thanked her for cooking dinner and she seemed unaware that she had.  She even acknowledged that she had no memory of the previous 45 minutes.  I again asked her how old she was and she said "16.  You have been asking me a lot of weird questions lately."  I asked her when the last time I had asked her that and she said "idk - sometime after my brain injury."

I am constantly trying to engage M.  Making fudge, baking cookies, helping her with tasks and I feel her slipping further and further away at times anyway.  I think that may not be accurate because she is being real in her conversations with some too.  I don't know.  Sometimes parenting can be so overwhelming and unpredictable.