Guys, I am sorry.  I haven't completely figured out how to control the walls since Moe is gone.  I am learning that as I get overwhelmed, the walls become stronger and it becomes harder to moderate them and communicate with you all.  I will get better at this with time.



cj,  The hospital is best.  I am not sure how to explain why.  It is not like what you and I remember.  In some ways it is, but in most ways it is not.  Trust that.  If you can, pop in tomorrow when I am visiting M.  Just don't cry.  That would stress her too much.  I just couldn't keep her safe without help.  Call or email Melissa.  She should be able to explain what I am too overwhelmed to articulate.



TA, I know you don't like the feelings.  Neither do I.  Especially not as intense as they have been lately.  Breathe and know that it gets easier to deal with the intense feelings.  Almost like reading a scary book or watching a scary movie like you like to do.  After a while you get less sensitive to the feelings.  I am guessing you have figured out that M is in the hospital b/c she wants to die... If you have more questions, just ask.  I am glad you wrote your questions here.  I wish some of the others would communicate here.