I tried to go back to sleep but I can't and it is easier to control the thoughts going through my head when I am up and busy.



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Night before last, I set all the different dolls that have been pulled into bed at night lately on the edge of the bed before I went to sleep.  I wanted to know which part of me was waking up.  I hoped if I knew that then I would be closer to figuring out the nightmare that has been interrupting my sleep.  No such luck.  That night, every single toy was pulled into my arms at different times.  That means that at least six different parts of me woke up.  I did the same thing again last night.  This time only two were slept with.  Daisy dog, which all of them like.  I think I will take her on the trip.  And the rabbit.  Because of that, I am no closer to knowing which one is waking up simply b/c I don't know which one likes the rabbit.  It was worth a try.



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The other day I was thinking about the library card incident.  When we lived in Omaha, I went in to the library  for something and there had been a library card issued to me, a book requested in my name and a fine on my account.  I stood there and argued with the lady that I had not set up the account, didn't request the book, and therefore was not responsible for the fine.  The lady said she couldn't close the account until the fine was paid.  As was usual at the time, OT and I were sharing time w OT in the forefront w/o acknowledging that was what was happening.  OT was adamant and agitated.  Eventually, the lady closed the account.  I was wondering the other day if I had really set up the account.  Usually I will have some recollection of events that occur even when I am not present.  I don't remember it at all, so it is unlikely, but still possible.  The possible part scares me.  I hate this part of being like I am.