Today was hard.  Good.  Fun.  But hard.  There were so many people.  I was there.  I was gone.  I was there again.  Mostly there.  That was good.  I am really tired.  And in so very much pain.  That comes with being so tired.  And when we were driving home, I was consumed with sadness.  That comes of trying so hard to be happy all day, but it is always hard when it hits me all at once like that.

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I think M mainly only recognizes that I switch if a little comes out.  Except Moe.  She described Moe as "more like your mother than you ever wanted to be."  That sucks.  Granted she doesn't really know what my mother was like except the one thing she remembers and a few things I have told her so it's not as bad as it could be.  If she really knew what mother was like, she wouldn't compare Moe to mother but at the same time any comparison to mother can't be good.

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Moe is becoming less like Moe and more like I don't know what.  Maybe it is because I am trying to understand her and communicate with her and beginning to treat her like she matters.  I would like to think so.