OK.  I talked to Moe this morning.  That doesn't happen often.  She was feeling overwhelmingly sad - what's new - understatement - and I addressed her as if I knew she could hear me instead of asking for her.  It is hard to remember things when she is in the background.  My thinking gets muddled.  Even when she's not trying to make me go away, the tiredness is intense.  So, without the clarity and detail that I usually have... Moe and I communicated. 

• I asked her to quit trying to make me go away when the girls were in trouble.  That that was a guaranteed way to not get time. 


• I told her that I would like to learn how to feel intensely.  She was shocked that I actually wanted something from her and that I was willing to spend the time with her required to accomplish that. 


• Then in Moe fashion, she asked what was in it for her.  I told her I could teach her to still exhibit self control when her emotions are intense and that she could learn to love.

We'll see what comes of it...





Now, about M... I am still worried.  I don't know what to do, what she needs, how I can help.  She is not acting out.  Neither girl is.  I just wish there wasn't so much on the agenda today, so that we could really enjoy the peace, but I will take what I can get. 



Oh.  And yesterday she talked about hitting me last time in conjunction with talking about not believing I love her.  I told her that sometimes I think she hits me to try to make me hit her back because that would prove that I don't love her.  She said yeah or if you sent me away I would know you didn't love me.  I told her I would never stop loving her.