If anything, I show more attention to M.  I situate our lives around her needs and whims more frequently.  I am not sure that I do, but sometimes it feels like it even to me.  It is not because I actually "favor" M.  It is just that it makes my life easier, really all of our lives, if she is not agitated.  I would never tell A, but sometimes I think she actually has a case.  Tonight for example.  Both girls simultaneously asked if they could make the pancakes.  I said M could.  Then A asked if we could play a game and I said after dinner; that before dinner I was going to take care of a few things.  When it became obvious that M didn't know what she was doing I sent her out of the kitchen which just served to make her mad, but she complied.  I started putting dishes away and A asked if she could help (2nd attempt to get my attention).  I said no thanks.   If I hang out w A, even to clean the kitchen, M is going to become even more agitated.  Now that I see what I am doing, I am going to do what is right even if it makes M mad, but still - I cater to her more often than not, I think.