Swiss Cheese

It is hard when my recollections of life resemble swiss cheese.  I remember a moment here and a moment there, but not the connecting moments.  It is easier now because I know why, but it is still hard.  Today is Saturday. . . I cannot begin to explain how hard it was to figure that out.  I am tired of life as I know it.  I have been told that this feeling is intensified because of a medicine one of us took.  But intensified or not, it is what I feel all the time. 

Snapshot Saturday

October 31, 2009

For pictures of this year's costumes, check here and here.  

Missing My Girls

Just so you know, there won't be pictures on this blog for a month, except Snapshot Saturday.  The camera is in OH with my girls.  If you want to know what they are up to, you can visit them at their blogs.  I can't promise how faithful they will be to blog, but they will probably post more than I have been lately.  Well, except for this week. 

Butterfly

FigNewTon

School

Girl Scouts

Autumn will probably be blogging about them some, too.  So, stop by their blogs and check out what is going on in their lives.  Leave a comment to let them know you were there. I will spend this month doing what I am supposed to be doing:  getting well... and missing my girls. 

Thankful Thursday

What am I thankful for today?

• I am thankful that my girls made it to OH safely yesterday.
• I am thankful for the opportunity to rest as much as I need to in these next few days.
• I am thankful that the girls rearranged our living room/ school room with only supervision from me before they left.
• I am even more thankful than usual for the telephone and internet so that I can keep in touch with my girls and feel connected to their lives.
• I am thankful for really good doctors.
• I am thankful for my pastor and his family.
• I am thankful for friends.

What are you thankful for today?

Do You Really Believe In Prayer?

A tale is told about a small town that had historically been “dry,” but then a local businessman decided to build a tavern. A group of Christians from a local church were concerned and planned an all-night prayer meeting to ask God to intervene.

It just so happened that shortly thereafter lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The owner of the bar sued the church, claiming that the prayers of the congregation were responsible, but the church hired a lawyer to argue in court that they were not responsible.

The presiding judge, after his initial review of the case, stated that “No matter how this case comes out, one thing is clear. The tavern owner believes in prayer and the Christians do not.”

- J. K. Johnston, Why Christians Sin, p. 129

My pastor used this as an illustration to his sermon on Sunday.  Sometimes, I think I am more like the unbelieving Christians than the believing tavern owner.  What about you?

Ready or Not

The GIRLS are ready. 

Excited even. 

Looking forward to a month with people they love. 

I am sure their dreams are filled with plans of adventures they hope to have. 

Their bags are packed and waiting by the door.

 

I, however, am not ready. 

I miss them already.

Another Perfect Song

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

A Very Late Posting Of Snapshot Saturday

August 2, 2010

We had just arrived in Detroit and signed in at her convention. 

The skyline in the background is Windsor, ON.

FigNewTon was quite excited to be that close to Canada. 

I got a parking ticket that we had to spend a day contesting later in the week.  Who would have guessed that a sign that said No Standing meant No Parking?!?  Thankfully, they understood my misunderstanding the sign and waived the fee.  I remember thinking that day, "If only we hadn't stopped for a photo op."  But realistically if we hadn't stopped for a photo op I would have parked there later in the week and still received a ticket. 



Thankful Thursday

It is the end of a VERY LONG Thursday and though I am thankful for quite a few things, I don't have much energy left, so this is going to be a very simple list....

Today I am thankful for warm fall days and time to spend with my girls.  I am thankful for good reports and doctor appointments.  I am thankful for accommodating airlines.  I am sure my list would be longer if I felt better, but this is all I can think of.

What are you thankful for today?

This Song...

says it perfectly. 

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Snapshot Saturday

July 31, 2010

At the hotel, outside pool, on our way to OH. 

I know they are not both looking at the camera, but getting them both to stay still long enough to be in the same photo was a feat in itself.  I thought it was too chilly to swim, they obviously did not and they had been so good in the car that I really felt they needed a reward. 

Thankful Thursday

What am I thankful for today?

• I am thankful that October is almost over, that surgery is scheduled and there is an end in sight to me being so sick.
• I am thankful for sunshine and warm fall days. 
• I am thankful for friends.  Like Autumn who made me a beautiful quilt and is going to take care of my girls while I recover.  Like Liz who is taking me to the hospital and cleans the church for me regularly right now even though it is more than she should be doing.  Like Natalie who is planning to bring me home from the hospital.  And all the friends at church and co-op and far away who have let me know they care and are praying for me. 
• I am thankful for God, for my salvation, for the peace that comes from knowing Him even in the midst of all this chaos in my life. 

What are you thankful for today?

I Feel

Not knowing what I feel and not feeling it is not the same thing.  I have spent several years off and on thinking that I don't feel.  Truth is, I just seldom know how to identify what I am feeling unless it is very common or very intense.  Thank God.  Psychopaths don't feel.  I, on the other hand, just didn't learn to identify what I am feeling.  I can learn.  I am learning.

Martin Heidegger

"Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one."

The Most Amazing Gift

The MOST AMAZING gift I have ever received is knowing my sins are forgiven and I will spend eternity in heaven because of Jesus sacrifice.  This post, however, is about the most amazing touchable gift I have ever received. 

That's right.  My friend Autumn made me this amazing quilt.  I don't think I have ever owned anything so beautiful.  

My favorite square is the angel pictured above.  The really neat thing is that it is in the center of the top row.  There were also beautiful butterflies.  I love the details. 

But this...

...this made me cry.  I cannot imagine my life without Autumn.  When they moved away several years ago, I thought I was losing a friend.  Truth be told, I think we are closer now than ever.  I can't go over to her house on a whim, but we can still be there for each other when it matters.  Thank you, Autumn!

Snapshot Saturday

October 31, 2008

We were at a festival at Butterfly's school. 

My grandmother made the dress for me when I was a teenager. 

4:17

That's the last time I looked at the clock before falling asleep. That is not the time I woke up from one of many nightmares. I couldn't go to sleep because I couldn't close my eyes. I couldn't close my eyes because I knew the nightmares would come.

8:23

That's when my child woke me up. I should be grateful, I guess. Usually the child begins making noise long before then in the mornings.  But I am not grateful; I am agitated; because the child is old enough to be expected to show some respect on those rare mornings that I ask to go back to sleep. Instead, the child kept making little noises so that I couldn't.

It's going to be a grand day.

Thankful Thursday

What am I thankful for today?  I don't know.  This list is going to take more effort today than usual.  It's not that I am not thankful, there are many things that I am thankful for if I think about it.  Usually the list comes a bit more easily, though, as thankfulness had become a way of life for me.  And it's not that I have had an unusually difficult day or week, really there have been some very good things that have happened.  I don't know what I am thankful for simply because my emotions are a roller coaster right now and my mind seems to be a bit of a black hole where information goes in but cannot find its way back out.  So... what am I thankful for today? 

my girls, friends, doctors, scheduled surgery, medicine, groceries, my car, the telephone, sunshine, science experiments, blankets, hot tea, honey, God, church, good reports, hope

What are you thankful for today?

Over Again

Every time I remember it is like living that moment in time again.

Holes

The hardest part is when I know I know something, but can no longer remember.  I remember remembering and yet I have lost that memory again. 

Dream

I woke up from nightmares so many times last night that I lost count.  My throat is sore from screaming so much.  I don't often scream yet last night I screamed with almost every nightmare. 

Usually I at least know how many times I had to face the torment in a night.  But then again, I am sick and my fever was breaking.  That always makes things worse. 

Plus it is fall and I don't have the built in white noise of the ac/heater to drown out the sounds of the world.  Like the train.  And the dog that lives a few houses down.  Or the car that drove down the street around 1:00. 

All I really know is that I am tired and my head ache will not ease.  I need some sleep.  Maybe tonight will be better.  Now that is a pipe dream. 

François de la Rochefoucauld

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves."

Winston Churchill

"The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you will see."

Helen Keller

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it."

Snapshot Saturday

July 2010

At Capital Building in Lincoln