Memorial Day

It's Memorial Day. A day to relax. A day to spend with family and friends. Most importantly, a day to remember.

Last year, I did a post specifically for Memorial Day. This year, I thought I would link to a few great posts that other people wrote (here and here) and introduce you to two of my favorite military families (here and here).

Enjoy your day. Take a few minutes to say thank you to the men and women who made it possible for you to enjoy this day. And take a minute to remember the ones who gave their lives for our freedom, too.

Mayfield Dairy Farm

On Friday, we went to the Mayfield Dairy Farm in Braselton, GA.

They give tours of the milk production plant where you learn a little bit about milk production and what makes Mayfield milk distinctive. The highlight of the trip is always a stop at the ice cream counter to purchase an ice cream cone after the tour. The kids also enjoy playing on the huge cow statue outside and posing for pictures beside the old horse drawn wagon.

Snapshot Saturday

Photo taken when we stopped for lunch somewhere in Tennessee while traveling last Monday.

Birthday Pictures

On Wednesday, for Butterfly's birthday, we went tubing down the Chattahoochee River. It was so fun! Everyone under the age of 16 and over the age of 7 were begging to go again. Everyone else was too tired and too cold! I had bought her a waterproof camera for her birthday, but it didn't work. So, we have no pictures of the actual event, but I took a few after.

Then, we went to Mrs.Jean's to have cake and let Butterfly open her presents.

Thankful Thursday

What am I thankful for today?
I am thankful that the weather yesterday was so beautiful. I am thankful for sunscreen. I am thankful for my girls. I am thankful for memories of fun times. I am thankful for the chance to be on vacation. I am thankful for my car. I am thankful for friends. I am thankful for food in abundance. I am thankful for the computer and internet. I am thankful for the freedom to enjoy all of these things. I am thankful for the people who secured and maintain those freedoms.
What are you thankful for today?

Butterfly's Birthday

Happy Birthday, Beautiful Butterfly! I love you!

Happy Campers

The girls are sleeping outside in a tent in the back yard. I think they have the coolest spot on the property!

On The Road Again

Wow! Today was a really long day of travel, though not quite as long as last week. I thank God that we arrived safely at our destination! FigNewTon took about a million four hundred pictures of the scenery today as I was driving on the highways at speeds between 55 and 70 miles per hour. I will let you know when we have those edited down to a viewable few and posted on her blog. For tonight, though, I am just going to leave you with pictorial proof of the states that we traveled through. Of course we first traveled through OH and then

and are going to sleep in GA. Goodnight everyone!

Snapshot Saturday

Yesterday, the children built this:

and yelled for me to take a picture.
As soon as I did, this happened:

If you would like to join me and do a Snapshot Saturday of your own, just paste the link below somewhere in your post and let me know in the comments so I can stop by your blog to see it, please. :)

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Just For Fun

Thankful Thursday

What am I thankful for today?

I am thankful for safe travels this week. I am thankful for games, play-doh, latch-hook, paper and pencil, and any other thing that can occupy my children for such a long trip. I am thankful for the opportunity to be here and to rest. I am thankful for time to spend with MM and Songbird. I am thankful for good directions. I am thankful that spring weather is finally here. I am thankful for homeschooling the girls and the flexibility that gives to our schedule. I am thankful for my girls. I am thankful for friends.

What are you thankful for today?

Just Chillin'

Travel Day

We woke up in NE and went to bed in OH. That is a v e r y l o n g d r i v e. While I drove, the girls did all sorts of things. Butterfly mostly drew pictures and FigNewTon mostly did a latch hook kit, but at one point they worked together to create a manger with baby Jesus out of play-doh.

Then they smashed it.

Maybe I can convince them to make me another one for Christmas. :)

Snapshot Saturday

November 2009

Autumn was visiting that weekend and we went to the zoo.

If you would like to join me and do a Snapshot Saturday of your own, just paste the link below somewhere in your post and let me know in the comments so I can stop by your blog to see it, please. :)

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Journey ~ Repost

For those who are survivors.

For those who are fighters.

For those who have fought and lost.

For those who love the people referenced above.

For Part Of Today

I was happy. This is worth remembering. Now, if I could just recapture that emotion...

Thankful Thursday

What am I thankful for today? I am thankful for God's love and mercy, His grace and forgiveness. I am thankful that He is who He says He is, that He never waivers. I am thankful that these truths are not dependent upon my actions. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned along the way, even if I am not thankful for the way I learned them. I am thankful that God is always there to catch me when I fall. What are you thankful for today?

If I Had My Life To Live Over Again...

On one of my favorite blogs to read, Diedra invited us to ask her questions about her life as a pastor's wife. I asked a question and she graciously answered it and then she asked her readers a similar question. If you had your life to live over again, would you change any of it? That question is hard to answer.

I gave my heart to Jesus 19 days before my 18th birthday. For all practical purposes, that is the beginning. Most notable things in my life before that were a result of the choices of others. That moment is when my life choices started. That choice I would not change for anything. However, at first glance, most choices I made after that I would.

When I gave my heart to Christ, I lived in a foster home. Nineteen days later, I signed myself back into foster care so that I could finish high school. If I could change this choice, would I? NO. That was a good choice.

Then I followed a boy to a college I had no business attending. To do this, I had to sign myself out of the care of the state and acknowledge that I would be on my own. This seemed like a good choice to a bullheaded teenager who had never known love. A year later, I knew it wasn't. If I could change this choice, would I? NO. If I had stayed, I probably would have finished college and my life definitely would have turned out different. But, I wouldn't have become a nanny and learned a different way of parenting. So, chances are, I would have repeated the pattern of my mother. Leaving college and becoming a nanny made me a better person, a better mom. I wouldn't change that for anything.

Fast forward a few years and I reconnected with a boy that I had known in high school. This should have raised a red flag, but it didn't. Within five months, we were married. Within nine months, I was pregnant and frequently bruised. Within 2 1/2 years, I was a single mother of two babies. If I could change these choices, would I? NO. I think the reason is obvious. I wouldn't have my girls. I wouldn't change that for anything.

Those are my major life choices that put my life on the path it is now. There are other, smaller choices that I regret, but I wouldn't change them either. I am not where I hoped to be at 38. I am not where I hoped to be after loving God for 20 years. I know that some of my choices grieved His heart. Because of this, I learned of His grace. I learned that His love is unconditional. I learned that He values me simply because I exist and not because of what I do. I wouldn't change that for anything.

Linking up with Bridget Chumbley's One Word Carnival on grace.

Why Blog?

This is a different kind of repost. My thoughts on why I blog have changed considerably over the past year, so it deserves revisiting. Actually, I think it is a good idea to reevaluate my reasons for anything I do on a regular basis.

Someone asked, "Why do you blog?" I knew the answer right away. I knew why I began blogging, that is. So I will start there. I began blogging for two reasons:

1. Because I knew I needed to journal and yet I never did. It gave me an accountability of some sort. Even though I didn't know who, if anyone, was reading my blog. But still, the journaling helps me and pseudo-accountability is better than no accountability. About that, this is no longer my primary journal. I talk about my faith here and my future. I use it as a sort of scrapbook and talk about fun things we do as a family. But it is limited to that because my girls read every post I write. Sometimes, I can even write a post about what I feel, about life as it is, about Butterfly's injury and the impact that has on our life; but I have to be very careful to not put anything here that would be upsetting to the children. I have two other journals. One is about all of the feelings regarding life now that can become so overwhelming. Those usually end up here eventually, often backdated because I figure that by the time the girls find them, they will be able to handle the reality that I felt those things. The other is about the past, things that do not fit into conversation. I don't focus on my faith there although I am realizing it is so much a part of me that it seeps into that space anyway. I also don't censor what I put there because as far as I know no one reads it. It is my space and I feel no accountability to others for what I put there. And then I installed the map/counter and realized people really are reading. I have since wanted to take the map/counter down, but it makes for an easy geography lesson with the girls. They enjoy seeing what countries readers are from, so it stays. Which leads to...
2. Because in the few months since getting a computer, I have read several blogs and realized that they, in the course of recording their everyday lives, encourage me. I wanted to be that kind of encouragement to others. This is still 100% true.

Now that I have been blogging for about six weeks, I think there are more reasons.

• I have started Thankful Thursday (TT) posts. They kind of speak for themselves. But yet they are changing my thinking every day of the week. So much so that I wish every person who stops by my blog would pick up a button and do their own this week, just to reap the benefit for themselves. I still do these posts faithfully, especially when I don't want to, but I have stopped putting a button up because along the way I realized other people had the idea first. I don't link up to theirs simply because I don't link to blogs that I don't read regularly. I feel a responsibility for the sites I link to be something worth your time and something that will encourage you in some way. I am not saying that the other sites that do Thankful Thursday posts are not this, just that I haven't read them enough to know.
• I have begun another weekly post called Snapshot Saturdays. I never seem to find the time to sit down and really scrapbook. What with one special needs child, another child with Olympic dreams who is homeschooled, and everything else that comes of being a single mom; I never seem to find the time. But SS just take a few moments and gives me the chance to record some of our experiences when the girls were younger. Plus, it kind of serves as a respite from all of the things going on in our lives. This one was an original idea and I have recently created a button encouraging people to link up. It is kind of fun. Plus there really are no rules; why and how I do a SS is completely different than any other person.

Now that I have been blogging for a year, there are more things to add.

• This is my space. This blog is for me. I don't care about numbers of readers. Instead, I care about building relationship with the ones I have.
• Blogging is a really easy way to stay connected to the lives of people I love who are far away, but on the other hand it can be an excuse not to call and really connect with people. I have to make a constant effort to keep this from happening.
• I most often read blogs when I am compelled to pray for the families involved. There are some exceptions, like the blogs of people I have met face to face or the blogs that I read because they bring a joy and peace to my life that makes me a better person, but even then, I pray for those people.

And then there is the question about comments. Usually, I don't feel like I need them. They are like frosting on a cake. What I really want is the cake, but frosting is a nice added touch. Sometimes, like TT, I really want comments, simply because I want to know who linked their blog back to mine or otherwise stated, who is participating. As stated above, I don't ask people to link back to me on TT anymore, but I do for SS. But usually, I figure people will comment if they really feel they have something to say. I know that is when I comment. That or when a post leaves me speechless or when I feel impressed to pray. And the first time I decide, I am going to read this blog on a regular basis, if I haven't already commented, I simply say hi. I don't comment very often. This is not good blogging etiquette, I know. The blogs I read, I read every time they post. But I have always viewed my words and my thoughts as a precious commodity and I do not give them away freely, so I only comment when I really have something to say.

Which prompts another question in me: Why do you read my blog? Why do you blog? And why do you read the blogs you read?

Breathing

Another repost, again from June of last year. I am so thankful that FigNewTon is a part of my life. I am so thankful that she is alive and healthy.

I have been quite sad all week.
And I couldn't pinpoint why.
And then today, it hit me.
I am grieving.
Not about what is,
because what is
is pretty good.
FigNewTon is strong
and healthy enough to be away at camp
for not one, but two weeks.
And of course I miss her.
But I have had several thoughts over the last two weeks
thanking God that this missing her is not permanent,
but rather is just her learning, growing, and having fun.
We lived for so long with FigNewTon sick,
thinking that she was going to die.
And then she got better
simply and completely because
God performed a miracle.
I never let myself grieve while she was sick,
because I had to be strong and keep it all together.
And I never really grieved after she was better
because she was well, better.
And I never really thought about it until today.
When I was so sad,
seemingly for no reason.
Then I realized that I am sad,
not for what is,
but for what was,
what could have been.
Last week in the mail,
I got a very normal postcard
from her pediatrician.
I haven't gotten a postcard
since she was seven.
It said that her blood work was normal.
Not normal for FigNewTon,
but normal like every other kid normal.
So, now that she is completely healthy,
I let myself grieve for what was
and what could have been.
All the while thanking God
that it is not and is not going to be.
Dr. D told me a year ago
that I could breathe again.
I think I am finally breathing.

Encouragement

This is a repost from June of last year. I decided, in honor of my one year blogiversary, I would repost some of my favorite posts from this past year at various times this month. This one focuses on Butterfly and her TBI. I am glad she is not where she was then. She hasn't had a setback since July and we have not encountered any "firsts" in a while. In the original post, I focused on the positive emotions she was feeling. That day, my heart was breaking. It was so hard to see my teenage daughter being so little. The scriptures were God's way of encourging me and giving me the strength to make it through the day. I am so glad she has made progress in the last year, but some days my heart still breaks because of all she has lost.

I am going to quote verses (NIV) that have come to mind and encouraged me today, punctuated by pictures from today's adventures. Look at the wonder, amazement, and joy in her expressions. We encountered several "firsts" today. ENJOY!

Matthew 6:34 ~ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I Peter 5:7 ~ Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 26:3 ~ You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Philippians 4:4 ~ Rejoice in the LORD always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

On Being A Mom

Just as someone can choose to believe a lie, something does not need to be believed to be true.

Lie that I often believe: I am a pathetic mom. I am no better than my mother or my upbringing.

Truth: I am a good mom. My kids are loved and well cared for. I seldom react to them without first thinking my response through. I usually react completely different than my upbringing. When I do react wrongly, this is a moment, not a lifestyle. Though it does not need to be overlooked, neither does it need to be magnified. What I feel and think in the midst of a moment does not carry as much weight as what I do. When I am angry, and do not yell, the anger does not make me a bad mom. I am a good mom.

Snapshot Saturday

May 2, 2010

Last Sunday, the girls had their end of year program with the homeschool co-op.

Each family set up a table where they displayed things the kids had worked on throughout the year. My girls chose to display some of their artwork and their science project. FigNewTon also displayed the work she did while reading Family Under the Bridge.

The middle school group performed a readers theater of The Legend of Slappy Hooper. The middle school girls also performed a song and dance routine they had come up with while learning about the branches of government and they performed Love in Any Language in sign language.

Thankfully, Natalie took a family shot of us and emailed me all the pictures she took while my kids were on stage because, as usual, my camera failed to download the pictures to my computer.

If you would like to join me and do a Snapshot Saturday of your own, just paste the link below somewhere in your post and let me know in the comments so I can stop by your blog to see it, please. :)

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The Grass Is Always Greener...

...on the other side of the fence. We have all heard that. And we have all felt it.

But is it true?

Speaking of grass and gardens, no. Not usually. For the past week, I have been watering a friend's garden while she is away on vacation. Her flower garden is beautiful. Every time I drive past it, it looks so green and the flowers so vibrant and pretty. I don't notice the weeds, the insects, or the disease that may be affecting the plants. It looks simply perfect.

As I water the garden, I am also tending it. Up close, the flowers are still beautiful. Maybe more so. However, I become painfully aware that the roses have thorns. And the things that look like lush ground cover from a distance are really weeds. The weeds have to go because they sap the nutrients and water that needs to go to the flowers.

When it comes to life, I think the same is true. From a distance, someone else's life may look better. But get up close and you can see the things that are difficult or painful. Or the weeds of sin that choke the life out of a person.

This week, I aim to take a closer look at the other side of the fence. Not because I am covetous, but so that I can be there to help a friend tend their garden.

This is a repost from May of last year. I decided, in honor of my one year blogiversary, I would repost some of my favorite posts from this past year at various times this month.

Sometimes...

I still eat green beans cold. Sometimes they taste better to me that way.

Thankful Thursday

What am I thankful for today?

I am thankful that the sun is shining and we can be outside digging up the garden all week.

I am thankful for my girls and the joy they bring to each day. I am thankful for free art classes through the library.

I am thankful for friends who are honest with me even when that honesty is risky and reveals something ugly about me. I am thankful for friends who pray for me.

I am thankful for grace and mercy. I am thankful that God is teaching me what I need to know and changing me to be more like Him a little more each day.

I am thankful that we will be going to OH and GA again soon.

What are you thankful for today?

Think On These Things

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

That scripture has bothered me for a long time because it has always seemed a contradiction. Lots of things can be true and honest and yet not just, pure, lovely or of good report. I am guessing I don't fully understand that scripture.

I shared this struggle with my friend Autumn earlier and this was her response, "I personally have been taught the the true and honest part is in relation to who we are in His eyes...not our own or our past. So what is true is that we are daughters of the King, loved and cherished...regardless of what we have been through. Honest is the same...its We ARE who He says we ARE. Not what someone else says we are.. Not the truth of the world - the truth of God.."

That makes more sense than anything I have come up with. What do you think?

Taking Every Thought Captive

I woke up from nightmares eight times last night. At one point I took comfort in some scripture that came to mind. The title is from 2 Corinthians 10:5 and was completely out of context in my mind last night. I am not sure it matters. God was able to comfort me and remind me to change my thoughts.

The other scripture is Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

That scripture has bothered me for a long time because, in relation to my childhood and the things that cause the nightmares, the things that are true and honest are not just, pure, lovely, or of good report. They do not hold any virtue and do not deserve any praise. So, for me, it has always seemed a contradiction. I am guessing I don't fully understand that scripture and plan to study it more in the days to come.

It has also bothered me because there have been well meaning Christians who just don't have a clue who would quote that scripture to me and tell me that I should be in control of the thoughts, images, and nightmares that filled my mind and that if something was not lovely or of good report, I should not think about it. That is easier said than done. I don't choose to remember these things and I am learning that the only way to forget them is to purpose to remember them. As long as I try to push the images away, they continue to have control but when I face them and talk about them, they become less significant.

Last night, the two portions of scripture, one phrase taken completely out of context and one scripture that I still do not begin to understand, brought me comfort and enabled me to think about something other than the images the nightmares brought to mind. I couldn't think of anything lovely, but focusing on those words made it possible to not think about ugly things, at least until I fell asleep again. That seems to me to be a step, no matter how small, taken in the right direction.

Snapshot Saturday

September 2009

Butterfly read Flat Stanley for school and carried him around for several weeks before sending him on to a friend. I hear he has been buried under a pile of papers for months. Maybe I will rescue him in a few weeks...

If you would like to join me and do a Snapshot Saturday of your own, just paste the link below somewhere in your post and let me know in the comments so I can stop by your blog to see it, please. :)

<a href="http://abitmorethanajournal.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img border="0" style="WIDTH: 225px; HEIGHT: 195px" alt="Snaphot Saturday" width="317" src="http://i723.photobucket.com/albums/ww238/stephifr/color.jpg" height="213" /></a>