Broken heart FigNewTon calls it "sad inside." That works, too. It is the overwhelming feeling of sadness that overshadows every other emotion and follows me through my day.
Broken dreams Not dreams for the future, because I have every faith that she will be OK in the end. It is the right now dreams. For her being 14 and enjoying this time in her life, rather than "being" seven or eight. Because she will never get this time back.
Broken record Because these things keep going through my head over and over again. But they are followed by another record reminding me of God's truth. Truth that says He knows the plans He has for us, plans for a hope and a future. Truth that says He can heal her.
I will be glad when the second record begins to overshadow the first. When I no longer feel so broken.
Tricia, just wanting to let you know your in my thoughts. Sending warm fuzzy hugs.
ReplyDeleteThe 23rd psalm came to my mind when I read this post. It was one that helped sustain me when my dad and grandmother passed away within five weeks of one another right as we discovered that pregnancy was not going to be our road to parenthood. It was a dark time in life and sometimes I wonder how I survived it. But then I know that my God pulled me through (and it didn't hurt that a lot of friends prayed...)
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you!
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. That's one of my favorite verses.
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to your list, but today the broken record is what strikes a chord with me. I've been trying very hard lately to think in the positive and not the negative. I've quickly realized this is no easy task for me.
I'm praying for you today and sending love your way.
My sweet friend,
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you, as I know all too well the pain of seeking the heights, grasping the promises, believing the truth and still feeling hopelessly mired in the muds of despair. God rescues. God knows. God loves. And at the same time He often times speaks with a language of love that our hearts cannot comprehend and so we fear He has forgotten to look our way as this terrible thing befell us in life.
Hold fast to the Truth of Scripture. See with eyes from a heart that KNOWS HIM. You know His love . . . you live under the shadow of His wing. Do not mistake this darkness; remember that it is dark while we are tucked safely and securely under that caring wing.
Rest sweet friend. Just as Moses had help to lift his arms, so I and others pray alongside you with the confidence that we together will see miracles right before our very eyes as Butterfly continues to emerge from this cocoon of pain and confusion. God's will be done. Triumph comes, but often times the pathway to joy blisters our heels and wearies our very being. Be strong enough to be weak in His arms.
You and your sweet girls rest in the everlasting arms of God and my praying hands continually lift you up.
God bless you!